Why Can't We Be Friends

This morning I woke up before my alarm as I had a lot on my mind. I've had problems sleeping my entire life and when I'm stressed, facing an important decision or some thing critical is going on in my life I tend to have an over active mind when I sleep.

I headed down to the pool and was on deck at 5 am. Masters doesn't begin until 5:30 and with this being "stroke day" I wasn't overly eager to get in the water. I decided to stretch and went outdoors onto the patio and listened to songs on my I-Pod. It was a glorious fall morning in Colorado, the sky was clear, the moon and the stars were bright. I laid on the deck stretching and the old song by War came on "Why Can't We Be Friends". I laid there and thought about a conflict I have going on in my life. I'm fairly confident that Highlands Ranch, Colorado has more coaches per triathlete than anywhere in the USA. Perhaps San Diego has a different ratio but it is close either way. Regardless of the industry, competition brings out the worst in some people. Since becoming a coach I've been shocked at the things I hear about me and my business from others in the triathlon community. I've always attempted to be a good corporate citizen. Prior to becoming a coach I started a local tri club that grew to win several national championships, started races, given free advice, donated my time to various races and spoke for free to different clubs in the area to name a few.

As I stared up at the stars I wondered why certain people have to live in a life filled with conflict and deceptive lies? I've done plenty of stupid things in my life. I've said things I should have said and acted without thinking at times. I'm human, I error. However, I've always taken ownership for my actions. As the stars winked at me from above I pondered my current dilemma. I despise when peoples own personal agendas conflicts with loyalty to a friend. I'm a loyal friend, someone does something to harm a "good" friend of mine and my alliance is to my friend. I think as a society we lack good old fashion loyalty to our friends. I think back to my father who has played cards with the same group of friends for the past 55 years. Every month they travel to a common place to play cards. There are 10 of them and never in my entire life have I heard my father utter a negative thing about one of them. Through illness, death and distance they have remained good and loyal friends. I'm confident that at some point in time someone had to do something that pissed someone off, yet they remain friends. I've been told I expect too much of others and that my expectations are too high. I've thought about this a lot but it is who I am and who I choose to be. If my expectations cause my own sorrow or disappointment I have no one to blame but myself.

The wind began to increase and the air was crisp. I went inside and the smell of the chlorine brought me back to reality. The water offers a wonderful hiding place from the conflicts we experience in life.. No phones, no e-mails..........nothing but the sound of water churning. I didn't swim particularly well today but I was grateful for the hour I had away from my problem. I have many things to be grateful for and need to do a better job of remembering this. A beautiful and talented wife who loves me even with my faults, my children, a wonderful triathlon community (the best in the land if you ask me and I will argue this point until the day I die), a roof over my head, a loving family and the list goes on....

I'm not sure how my current situation will be resolved but I know that I have an impact into how I let this affect me mentally. My wife tells me that there are periods in your life when you need to weed the garden. As a gardener I'm aware that getting rid of the weeds allows for roots to grow deeper and offers an opportunity for the healthier plants to develop and grow. I believe the same process applies with friends and business acquaintances. Life will go on and new friendships will be formed, some friends will become acquaintances and others will develop and grow, but I can't help but think.......Why Can't We All Just Be Friends?????